So I am honoured to announce that I am a finalist in the Face Of Northern Ireland 2019 😊 I wanted to blog about why I am doing this and why it means so much to me.
Like most people, I have been to hell and back. As a 35 year young woman, I have experienced a lot. Great and bad. For a long time I let the bad things that happened I let ruin all the good things I had and they built on top of me. I was weighed down and dwelt on the things that affected me so badly and could not see the great things I had right in front of me. I was hurting. Badly. To the point I wanted to give up and in some ways I had.
This changed though when I realised I was the one in control of my own mind and my own life. I no longer wanted to be a victim but a survivor, a warrior, my own personal heroine.
As time went by I felt like as I was getting older the dreams I once had were out of reach. I felt my spirit and zest for life had diminished, yet they hadn’t.
For those who don’t know, I suffer from Crohns Disease and Fibromyalgia as well as BPD. These three things have been more difficult to get on top of than anyone will ever realise. They have been part of the reason for so long I didn’t believe in myself or that any of my dreams would happen never mind come true. I suffer daily with all of these but I fight with everything inside me to have the life I deserve and want.
I entered the Face Of Northern Ireland because, now I am 35 and the fact I soldier through these things as well as personal past experiences I want other people to see that you can do what you think you cant. I’m evidence of this. What you believe is what happens. If you believe you cant, you will find any reason to believe you cant. If you refuse to let your own adversity tell you things are out of reach or simply your best days are gone, If you believe you are worth it, If you believe in your strength, amazing things will happen!! Don’t get me wrong, it will take some time to get yourself past what is holding me back but you HAVE to fight!! You cannot let life take them best of you. Everyone has a shining light inside them, a fire that may seem dim to you right now but you are that fire. You can fan those flames turn that light back on and show yourself who you are again. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy and critic. We self sabotage ourselves and its no wonder if we have something that’s holding us back. Those brick walls you face, the fences with barbed wire, can be broken down. Brick by brick, fence by fence. Its not an overnight process but you cannot stop. Rest if you must but do not quit. You will get here eventually and look back and be amazed at how you’ve done it.
I am proud of myself for how far I’ve come. If you had been in my life and known and witnessed first hand all the things I’ve come through and how I am now you, you would know what I am telling you is the truth. I believe everyone is here for a reason. You may not know what that it is but its up to you to go and find out. The day you realise is the day your life really starts.
I have written this for all those people who suffer physical illness, mental illness, people who think they’ve reached an age they cant do certain things, people who have had things happen in their life that has destroyed them to the point they cant get back up. I can tell you All of those things have happened me and I am here now writing this, a working musician, a finalist in a beauty pageant, engaged, back at the gym training with a PT, living in our country’s capital in my own home with a full life.
If you take anything from this blog please take this. I believe IN YOU. You have to also 😊
A great friend of mine once gave me a quote a few years back and it has sparked something in me and inspired me:
Per Adrua ad Asrta (Through adversity and to the stars)
All my genuine love and belief