Loving and Healing Yourself Part 2

Today is part 2 of the “Loving and healing yourself” series of blogs topic that I’m going to try my best and complete over the next while.

I will point out, while I write these I am in the same process myself, so please don’t think I have it all figured out. I really don’t lol… As I’m learning I’m writing so maybe we can do it together??

So, today’s topic on this subject will be more about the life we give ourselves after a trauma or heartbreak. This can be anything like, a divorce, a domestic abuse relationship, bereavemet, kidnapping a bad childhood, sexual/ emoitonal or physical abuse, difficult teens, bullying (at any age)…  anything that has caused you pain and trauma can be on this list.

Often after such an experience or experiences, as we know life does not always blast us with one problem, we feel we are not good enough for the good things’ life has to offer. Depression and anxiety can ravage our lives as we live through the aftermath of such an event. This part is normal and can be dealt with and healed. The first part I mentioned, not being good enough, is not.

Let me give you a simple scenario. If you child, friend, partner or loved one were to go through the same experience you have or are going through, would you be telling them that they will never get over it or that they will never be good enough again for anything good to happen them?? Think of the pain that would cause them on top of the already mounting hurt they have from what they went through?? I’m certain you would never say or feel this. So why do we tell ourselves this?

Is it because we are brainwashed from the situation that occurred that we feel that’s what we deserved?? Is it because we can’t see why it would have happened if we didn’t deserve it?? Is it because we are still in those circumstances that harmed us in the first place and haven’t managed to get away from them?? It could also be C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress) from the incident(s) that we haven’t dealt with yet or bottled up and stuck out head in the sand.

They simply could have left that big a scar on our heart’s minds and souls that its almost visible on the outside. My heart breaks for you if this is the case. I can empathise with you completely on that one. It does take quite some time to recover from these things and sometimes we simply don’t know how to. Sometimes we don’t feel we can trust anyone to talk to them about it, we hold it all inside and it poisons us and creates difficult and unmanageable ways of living our lives. Like isolation, distrust, disassociation, apathy, anger at the wrong times, substance abuse, self-harm, depression…. and so on. Each of us will have our own list of personal harmful ways we react to what happened to us and some may seem harmless. We may even give ourselves excuses at time for them, which I am not condemning anyone for, no-one knows what you are feeling. What is up to us though, is to recognise them and find the courage somewhere inside ourselves to reach out for help and try to fix them.

 

I’ll remind you at this point, I am not exempt from any of these traits, trauma reactions. I have done my fair share of fighting back at my experiences, but almost always, at the wrong time, place, or at the wrong people that it happened with. No-one can blame you for feeling what you do, no-one. They weren’t there to see what happened and if they were, they probably don’t know what to do to help. They may make the wrong choices in trying to help and you may see them as making it worse or even blaming them. But we are all human and if there are people there trying to help please do one thing for me if you do anything at all, don’t push them away. This will be where you will suffer most and where the situation that happened you has won.

 

Life can sometimes be very, very hard. It can be confusing. It can be heartbreaking and it can be what we feel, life-ruining. But, if you place your hand on your left side where your heart is and it’s still beating, then you are still alive and recovery is possible. I try to remind myself of this every day.

 

Ok, I will leave it there for today 😊 I do hope friends that some of my words have penetrated your heart and given you some hope that things can change. It won’t be easy, but nothing worth anything in life is easy. Life is about learning, strengthening and overcoming and showing those people, that situation, that thing that happened, that you are stronger than it was, you deserve more than it ever did and you will WIN!!!

The battle is yours to win, but we can win it together 😊

All my love and care, KEEP THE FAITH

Alana Faith 13882540_505316913001880_4924214942285563240_n

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s