Loving and Healing Yourself Pt 3

LOVING AND HEALING YOURSELF PART 3 

 

I hope you’ve enjoyed the blogs on my series “Loving and Healing Yourself” so far. I hope they’ve given you a bit in incite that you aren’t alone, we aren’t alone. 

 

Today It would like to bring up the side of the topic out the outward appearance since we have been doing some inner soul searching. 

This isn’t the outward appearance I’m talking on today is not in the terms of makeup, hair, tan etc (although all are a good thing to do from time to time and ill touch on that later in the blog). I want to speak about how we view and look at ourselves when we look in the mirror and how our brain tricks us into thinking we look different than we actually do. 

As part of my Borderline Personality, Body Dysmorphia and OCD are in my category. 

When I look in the mirror, I am covered in scars, literally. Major surgery scars, min/major surgery scars, scars from self-harm and so on. I’ve had 4 major life saving bowel surgeries that run from the top of my abdomen right to the bottom and 2 that runs from one side of my stomach to the other where I had 2 colostomy bags after nearly passing away in 2003 at 19 years of age. I have a scar on my left chest where I had a lump removed, I have a 5 cm scar on my inner thigh where I had a potentially fatal abscess near my main artery. I hundreds have scars all over my face neck and shoulders when my skin broke down due to my autoimmune disease and they never healed right and always stay white even when I have a tan. I have self-harm scars on my limbs and other places I would rather not say for now. 

 

I could look at these scars and think, “I’m ugly” or “My body is ruined” or “How am I attractive even to myself never mind the opposite sex?” …. Truth is, I have thought that over the years from time to time but being the type of person that I am, stubborn feisty, a fighter, a SURVIVOR… I always return back to the thought that; they are part of me. They are my story. They are reminders of that which tried to kill me but I was stronger than it, pushed through and won. 

 

I have marks where I have been abused in the past by people that I don’t wear with pride the same, and I have a weakness in my neck and spine where I crashed my car at 100mph and again, almost died. But I didn’t. 

 

How about what others have told you also?? The hurtful things they’ve said about you, things about your appearance, trying to tear you down and your soul along with it. Do they stick out in your head?? Was it a bully?? An ex-partner?? An ex-friend?? A family member?? A Co-Worker?? Words can cut really deep and people like this know that, especially if it’s something you already had a problem with. If you have experienced this, I am so very sorry that you have. There is nothing like that feeling of feeling you aren’t good enough internally and externally for someone. Why should it matter to them so much that you look a certain way?? Just remember this however the problem lays with them!! They are the one who is flawed, not you!! Normal humans do not go around destroying others, no matter what the reasons are. 

 

I am here to tell you today, that you are beautiful. Beautiful beyond compare. You were created in your own special way and you are UNIQUE!! There is not one other person in this world like you. The number of hairs on your head, you eye colour, your fingerprints, your personality, your mind, your heart and most definitely your SOUL. You were created by God to be the person you are and you certainly weren’t made for others to tear apart verbally or otherwise. 

 

Let me tell you something and I mean this from the bottom, and every part of my heart. Beauty does NOT come from the outside, as cliché as it may sound, REAL beauty does come from within. I’ll break it down. These are inward, personality, outlook on life, personal attributes and attitude based.  

1) A beautiful Mind (Thoughtful, positive even in spite of your health problems etc) 

2) A beautiful heart (Caring for other people and wanting the best for them )

3) A beautiful Soul (Someone who feels empathy and compassion for others) 

4) A beautiful personality (Being, kind, warm, funny, easy to talk to, the examples are endless) 

5) A beautiful inner strength (To triumph through all the adversities you have had thrown at you) 

6) Staying inwardly beautiful in any situation (Rising above it and knowing that you can get through it) 

7) A beautiful character (Wanting to be the kindest and best version of yourself you can be) 

8) How you treat other people and make them feel 

 

Do you know the most beautiful outward appearance a woman (or man) can wear, even to the opposite gender and vice versa?? A beautiful smile. It doesn’t matter how many layers of makeup or clothes or fronts you can out on, a smile breaks down barriers through ANYTHING. Think about it, when you were having a bad day and you were walking to the shop, a stranger smiling at you I the street, possibly stopping and saying to you that they love something about you, what did that or how would that make you feel?? I bet it means much more than anything you can buy to make yourself look pretty. Sure, don’t get me wrong, I’m a woman myself, I love having my hair done and my makeup done, getting a new outfit, or a new pair of shoes etc it does make you feel great!! But we must first learn to love the person we are stripped back from all of that stuff and learn to love the authentic YOU!! God sure does 😊 Your friends and family sure do. I do 😊 I love you the way you are, whether you are down or happy. As long as you are being real and being YOU. 

 

I hope you’ve enjoyed this today and please believe the words I have said to you… You are beautiful and if you aren’t feeling that way, you should ❤ 

All my love, care and faith in you 

Alana Faith 

Petition For Mental Health Action NI

Head Admin 

Petition Founder