All posts by Alana Faith Lucas

About Alana Faith Lucas

A deep thinker with a genuine heart, lots of opinions but unbiased attitude and open to new thoughts or a new outlook. Isaiah 41v13

The Cat With 10 Lives

INTRODUCTION “The Cat With 10 Lives”…. The sequel to my other novel The Boy Who Cried Wolf.

THE CAT WITH 10 LIVES

Ilanna is a troubled girl. Multiple traumas in her life, she hasn’t always dealt with things in the right way. But what is the right way when you’re in turmoil??
She has a big heart, too big sometimes and loves too much, almost to a fault. However, she doesn’t love herself. With major clinical, physical and mental health diagnosis’, her life has been far from easy.

Heart broken, mind in pieces and a crying soul, it all combines for a lost girl who never fully grows up. Caught in a whirlwind of confusion and pain, she finds a herself in the most dangerous and devastating situations where she is prey to predators.

Despite all of this, she is a strong minded stubborn girl which is exactly what prevails her through all the adversity she endures. She crumbles and she falls, yet she rises and shines. She is admirably resilient to major trauma, but only for a while. Dissociation is her way of dealing with the catastrophic events that take place in her life. The time is only borrowed to her and the past come a back like a Tsunami later in life. Weakened and deeply affected my her circumstances, the yoyo of rises and falls makes for a life is chaos.

Can she get herself off the ferris wheel of distress and break the pattern?

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

INTRODUCTION to my upcoming book.

“THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF”

We’ve all heard the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf, or so we think we have any way. There are too many people branded with this tragic label when in reality, things are going on or really have happened them that no-one believed and left the person alone dealing with an array of trauma that wreaked havoc on their lives to this day.

When something does happen them in plain sight by this point it’s is normally too late. Even when something happens that is obvious to society, they tend to turn a blind eye. Some people do not like to see the truth. It would mean they had to do something and hardened hearts don’t want to get involved. They would rather believe a beautiful lie than an ugly truth.

This book is a perspective of this exact human circumstance. I hope it opens eyes, awakens minds & hearts and creates a place in society that allows people to feel safe to share their trauma and where we all look out for one another.

Mental health is rife in our communities and even though it may seem that victims exaggerate a situation that has happened them, making stories up or simply “too much has happened” for it all to be true, just think how that person must feel if the things they say are true. This is a tragedy that just be adjusted to stop things happening to people and they suffer in silence.

Always keep an open mind.

The Double Wammy

It comes to no surprise that Mental and physical health problems come hand in hand. I for one am evidence that this is 100% correct.

When I feel my physical health going down, I can out money on it (if I were a betting person) that my mental will follow shortly after. When my mental state deteriorates, you can put your bottom dollar on that my physical will follow. It’s a cruel catch 22.

Now there are times, that this does not happen and it is one of the greatest things to me personally, as I can get better much quicker no matter what side of things has taken a bad turn. The key is, to notice where and when to start looking after the dormant one before it takes hold. Only then can you find the strength to fix the main one that has begun to cause you hassle, for lack of a better word.

When both take hold, it is paraylising and life ruining whilst the symptoms are happening. They take over every single part of your life, big and small.

But your story isn’t over no matter your diagnosis. You are nor your illness!! I wouldn’t even say it’s past of you, it’s a foreign body and affliction that has been set upon going show you how strong you are. There are some people who would never be able to deal with what you do every day. Same way there are things others deal with every day that we couldn’t. This is own own pet so am adversity to overcome and once we do we are empowered by the power within us!!

Sure there are going to be says it takes over, those are the days we need to learn to rest. But there are days that if we push through we will be surprised what we can do and how much power we have over it!! Not the other way around.

Always remember, there are people who love you. Don’t suffer in silence, if you need help ask for it. I’m sure the people who love you would do anything to help.

This is a short one today but I will leave with one last thing. Whatever you’re going through, you can overcome it!!!! I am proof of this.

As always, keep the faith 💜

Alana Faith xxx

The Unrecognised Disease

Guys today I want to touch on addiction, or what I know of it anyway.

Addictions first and foremost almost always sitting upon another problem unsolved. Mental Health. Trauma. Anxiety. PTSD…. The list could go on. No-one wishes as a child they would end up addicted to something that would steal so may parts of themselves and their lives they wouldn’t even see it happening. It’s gradual and it can take months and years for the person to realise its happening. Family members will spot it a lot quicker but they resist their plea’s as they do not want to admit to themselves nor do they think it is a real problem. For most of the time anyway.

Addiction is an illness in itself. It strips any the beautiful parts of a person that by the end of it if they are lucky to be alive, they won’t even recognise themselves. For the lucky ones who made it through to this part, this is the start of a real painful process that may seem impossible for the individual. It’s learning their life all over again. They see things and changes in their world that they hadn’t noticed before. They look and feel different as we change every day, drugs and alcohol mask this and they feel they have aged and life has moved on overnight.

This isn’t even to mention the process of withdrawal either. This is excruciating for addicts, people I should say as that’s what they are, human beings. They go to hell and back in this process with so many symptoms one would wonder how anyone would do it, this is why they are so scared to it in the first place.

But the main part of this I really need to point out is the reason they started in the first place, the mental health side of it. Some people may have pain in their past or present when they started to lean on drugs or alcohol. It is a painkiller from the overwhelming stress and struggles they are under. It is an escape….. at the start.

Soon enough, it becomes the very things they were escaping from. After the substances have had their way with the person, they are left dealing with the same problems they started using for in the first place, although many other things that have happened in that time to deal with also.

We can see why these people are in such a quagmire with themselves, as they are scared to leave the one thing behind they feel helped them live (in their eyes), the one thing that helped them stop the pain they were feeling, the one friend they felt was there to help when no one else was, the one thing that helped them sleep at night and wake in the morning. Withdrawl from such a thing is not just physical it is completely psychological and brings up so many memories they had buried deep inside. So all in all, its a traumatic experience in itself.

Noone should look down on these people. In fact, we should be in awe of them for what they have gone through to get to where they are. It takes great inner strength and belief that non addicts would never know about, until they can become an addict.

Anyone can become an addict. Anyone….. Let that sink in. No matter what walk of life you come from, no matter what job or occupation, no matter your place in a family, no matter your age. We are all in a position to get addicted to something. I always say “everyone has their poison”…. We all have vices, drugs, alcohol, gambling, pornography, once again, the list goes on.

I will leave it there because this is something I could talk about for days. I really feel for these people. They might be you, they might be someone you love. We at the PMHANI Team want you to know we are here for you if you have a concern about any of the above. We won’t be able to fix your problem, but we are here to listen and to support and point you in a possible direction that may be able to help.

If you are someone who has beat addiction and continues to……. WELL DONE. We are proud of you. Always remember you will be an inspiration for others to do the same.

Anyway, I’ll stop there and leave you with my motto…. KEEP THE FAITH 

100% love as always,

Alana Faith 🌹

Head Admin

 

The Harder The Battle The Sweeter the Victory

Okay, so it’s not a surprise to a lot of you when I say I am bipolar. It’s not like it’s not obvious to those who know me and I’m pretty open with it on social media and in person. Although to some people is would be a surprise as I do so much with music, modelling, and many other projects so I suppose it could look like I have it all together. I do at times but most of the time it feel like I myself and my life is falling apart is everything including myself is out of control.

Although alongside my Bipolar Disorder, I have Borderline Personality and PTSD. Borderline Personality causes, crippling anxiety, OCD, Mental Fatigue (Brain Fog), Body Dysmorphia, agoraphobia and anorexic tendencies in me. The PTSD causes traumatic flashbacks from past trauma, causes me to be afraid of noises, answering the door, answering the phone at times and being a recluse basically. They all make me feel like they ruin me as a person and I can tend to be very angry at times without even realising why. I take it out on the closest to me and for that, I feel so much guilt. I have a chronic guilt disorder anyway, it’s possibly one of the hardest parts of my mental health to deal with.

Without going into detail, I have been abused in the most horrific of ways, domestically abused, sexually, psychologically and have nearly died numerous times. I’ve suffered at the devastation of divorce. I’ve nearly lost my life due to Crohns and spent time in Intensive care. Car crashes that almost took my life, and a number of other things. The trauma of these experiences has left me extremely damaged but I fight on through as I refuse to let the perpetrators/ experiences win and steal my light.

On top of my mental health, I have Crohns Disease, Fibromyalgia and PMDD (Premenstrual Dysmorphic Disorder). Some days or weeks are hell for me and I really do struggle.

I am writing this with a lump in my throat as today I’m on a Bipolar low and my other mental illnesses and traumas are tormenting me like a battering ram in my head.

It’s not a blog to explain myself, yet in a way, it does help to get it out, its to show people that don’t understand mental health if they are blessed enough not to have one and to reach out to those who do understand to let them know they aren’t alone in their struggle.

I’ll start by explaining the anxiety that comes with all 3 of these disorders (especially BPD and PTSD)….Every morning I wake up (If I got to sleep at all) with anxiety that would make a person want to bang their head against a wall. I go to bed the same way the night before. I worry about things that have happened, are happening, and may happen in the future. My thoughts spiral out of control. I envisage the worst things that could happen and ruminate over them even if they never come true. I remember things that have happened that have traumatised me, and I lay paralysed in their grip of torment and the flashbacks that I endure are worse than I could ever describe. I worry that about life problems that are happening in the present no matter how big or small they are.

In spite of all of this, I am pushing through and getting on with my life. I am in an upcoming awesome band called Dystopia, I’m back to horseriding and I’m running a campaign to address the lack of Mental Health help and recognition.

We can’t let these illnesses/ disorders rule our lives. Although they can do at times and we must know the difference to rest ourselves and when to push through.

With the right support, we can live our dreams and live the life we want. Our dreams are within reach, all it takes is one small decision and it could change your life. So go for your passions and push through that wall of doubt.

As I always say, KEEP THE FAITH. Because faith is the only way we will get through this and change our lives for the better.

All my love in the world,
Alana Faith
Head Adminc51925fb0ac467459ee34229f06e0c80

Real Friendship

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We’ve all been there. Falling out with someone you thought so much of can be hurtful to say the least. It shakes you inside and makes you question the whole time you knew them. You question them, you question yourself and you question, well… life.

However, I believe for every fake friend you loose in life, you gain in value with your real friends. We all fall victim to those who take away from us instead of building up, so I see it as a positive thing that those people leave in times of trouble as they only show their real agenda and they highlight the people who are there for you till the end. This also goes the opposite way, for every real friend you loose you gain a faker friend(s). People are great at saying lovely words that sound like friendship, however staying true to their word and carrying out their promises is an entirely different thing.

If you are anything like me, I am too loyal for my own good sometimes. Sure I’ve made mistakes and I’ve done silly things without thinking. Haven’t we all?? I regret a lot of things but I can categorically say I have been a good friend to a lot of people who didn’t deserve it. The things I have done, I have tried to fix as I have forgiven things that others have done to me. That’s what friendship is. Recognising that no-one is perfect and looking for the best in everyone. There are people though that are very self sufficient. What I mean by this is, they think of themselves over anything anyone else feels. It is not wrong to make decisions to further yourself and to make yourself happy, in fact that is to be applauded! However, hurting other people to their core and making those decisions without taking other peoples feelings in to consideration in very wrong. Breaking hearts without one ounce of care is wrong. Leaving an array of hurts and problems behind in your wake, is very wrong. We need to think of how we make each other feel and correct any negatives. That’s what being a good person is.

We all act out in pain. We retaliate with harsh words and nasty comments. Some more than others though. It is all about the level of guilt we feel afterwards at the pain our words and comments create. There are ay number of things I have said and done that I wish I could take back. I do wonder if some people have these same regrets within them.

All that aside, I am more than thankful happy and content with the relationships and friendships I have in my life now, I’m extremely blessed 😊  I’ve lost a lot of fakery which hurt at the time but I most certainly have increased in loyalty, love and genuine care with the people who matter!! Anyone who failed to see the good qualities in me are just setting themselves up for faker friends to fill the void. I don’t have animosity for them in any way, I wish them all the best. I just realised that I was worth more and left them where they belong, in my past. Once I realised this, it was like a light bulb was switched on and I’m able to leave the past in the past and look forward to my future with those who have made my present so meaningful.

 

People make mistakes and I can forgive anyone anything as I’m a forgiving person. Although I won’t let myself be treated for less than I deserve, as we all should 🙂 As my mum always said, never throw you pearls before swine. Protect your heart as everything you do flows from it.

My circle is most certainly set for life 💜😄

Fight The Good Fight

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So I am honoured to announce that I am a finalist in the Face Of Northern Ireland 2019 😊 I wanted to blog about why I am doing this and why it means so much to me.

Like most people, I have been to hell and back. As a 35 year young woman, I have experienced a lot. Great and bad. For a long time I let the bad things that happened I let ruin all the good things I had and they built on top of me. I was weighed down and dwelt on the things that affected me so badly and could not see the great things I had right in front of me. I was hurting. Badly. To the point I wanted to give up and in some ways I had.

This changed though when I realised I was the one in control of my own mind and my own life. I no longer wanted to be a victim but a survivor, a warrior, my own personal heroine.

As time went by I felt like as I was getting older the dreams I once had were out of reach. I felt my spirit and zest for life had diminished, yet they hadn’t.

For those who don’t know, I suffer from Crohns Disease and Fibromyalgia as well as BPD. These three things have been more difficult to get on top of than anyone will ever realise. They have been part of the reason for so long I didn’t believe in myself or that any of my dreams would happen never mind come true. I suffer daily with all of these but I fight with everything inside me to have the life I deserve and want.

I entered the Face Of Northern Ireland because, now I am 35 and the fact I soldier through these things as well as personal past experiences I want other people to see that you can do what you think you cant. I’m evidence of this. What you believe is what happens. If you believe you cant, you will find any reason to believe you cant. If you refuse to let your own adversity tell you things are out of reach or simply your best days are gone, If you believe you are worth it, If you believe in your strength, amazing things will happen!! Don’t get me wrong, it will take some time to get yourself past what is holding me back but you HAVE to fight!! You cannot let life take them best of you. Everyone has a shining light inside them, a fire that may seem dim to you right now but you are that fire. You can fan those flames turn that light back on and show yourself who you are again. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy and critic. We self sabotage ourselves and its no wonder if we have something that’s holding us back. Those brick walls you face, the fences with barbed wire, can be broken down. Brick by brick, fence by fence. Its not an overnight process but you cannot stop. Rest if you must but do not quit. You will get here eventually and look back and be amazed at how you’ve done it.

I am proud of myself for how far I’ve come. If you had been in my life and known and witnessed first hand all the things I’ve come through and how I am now you, you would know what I am telling you is the truth. I believe everyone is here for a reason. You may not know what that it is but its up to you to go and find out. The day you realise is the day your life really starts.

I have written this for all those people who suffer physical illness, mental illness, people who think they’ve reached an age they cant do certain things, people who have had things happen in their life that has destroyed them to the point they cant get back up. I can tell you All of those things have happened me and I am here now writing this, a working musician, a finalist in a beauty pageant, engaged, back at the gym training with a PT, living in our country’s capital in my own home with a full life.

If you take anything from this blog please take this. I believe IN YOU. You have to also 😊

A great friend of mine once gave me a quote a few years back and it has sparked something in me and inspired me:

Per Adrua ad Asrta (Through adversity and to the stars)

All my genuine love and belief

Alana Faith

The Last Taboo

This blog is somewhat difficult for me to write as it is very close to home. Although I feel I need to do it as there are many people out there in this position. A few encouraging words some times can strengthen even the most independent of us.

Two words. Mental health. What does that mean to you?

It could be a friend who has mentioned a diagnosis in passing and you never fully knew what they meant. It could be a family member who you’ve watched suffer with pain in your eyes. It could be you….. Yes, it could be you. At any point. Scary isn’t it?

While there are many mental health issues, disorders, syndromes and symptoms, they all group together in the same bracket and make the sufferer’s (and their loved ones) lives painful and difficult. Sometimes, non existent.

If you are living your life around a mental health problem, I take my hat off to you! It is not easy. It is frightening and it is tiresome. Your physical health may also be affected either by your mental health or vice versa, as a lot of the time they come hand in hand together, like terrible twins. The stress of a mental issue can be and is directly linked to an array of physical health problems. When the muscle/ organ that conducts your entire body is sick, is it any wonder your body can end up sick as well?

Every day tasks are much more difficult than they should be. Therefore this makes our bigger tasks, somewhat impossible at times. Things aren’t as enjoyable as they should be and you tend to drop out of things you ordinarily would take part in…. we mustn’t do this. No matter how bad we feel. It always seems impossible, until it is done.

A mental health problem can affect absolutely every aspect of your life. Work, family, intimate relationships, friendships, hobbies, concentration, driving, self esteem, parenting, getting over past hurts, forgiveness, money, housework, appearance, memory, jealousy, inferior or superior complexes, the list is endless.

Many past greats have suffered with a mental health problem at some point. Marylin Monroe, Leonardo Da Vinci, Michelangelo, Charles Dickens, Angelina Jolie, Barbara Streisand, Catherine Zeta Jones, Ray Charles….. the list goes on. They are testament to the fact that we mustn’t falter if we are struggling with something of the mind. The mind can lie to us and tell us things that aren’t there. It can lead us to believe we are less than what we are and that we have less ability than we do. We cannot let this affect us in a way that will damage our lives. It’s just simply untrue. I once read a quote in a book that rang very true to me and I have often went back to read if I was feeling inadequate.

“Dwarfs can often do the work of giants when they are transformed by the almost magic power of great mental concentration. But giants will only do the work of dwarfs when they lack this power.” (The Power of Contention, Theron Q. Dumont)

Something I noticed when doing my research about famous people with mental illness, is that a highly large number of comedians have or do suffer from depression or manic depression (bipolar). This to me wasn’t shocking unfortunately, as I have always believed laughter and humour to disguise emotional pain. It is said that the person who laughs more than they should or for no reason at all, is the saddest of us all. It’s a front and a coping mechanism. Do you know anyone like this?

What I must point out to those who suffer or who have a loved one who does, is that knowledge is power. We cannot expect to overcome something if we don’t know what we are dealing with. We must know our enemy and take it down at its weakest point.

We owe it to those we love to watch out for their struggles, whether emotional or physical. So many people are no longer with us due to the fact they felt they were alone. Where they may not have been in real life, many people feel they fight alone when it comes to their mind. The taboo keeps people at arms length when all they crave is help and understanding. I for one find this incredibly heartbreaking.

Keep the faith guys, life is a journey and none of us get out alive anyway 😉

Be good to yourselves
Alana Faith 🎍16806964_657800204406773_4457455163705086154_n

Singer/ Writers Block

I’ve never professed to be the best singer ever. Or the greatest musician for that matter. I’ve never thought any higher if myself than what I am. I’ve always been my greatest critic and I pick holes in everything I do because I doubt my ability. I’m a natural perfectionist. Sadly, I used to let these things get the better of me.

What I feel my strength is in, is the fact I do not let these things stop me doing what I love. If everyone was perfect at something from the very start then what is the point in trying to progress? You’re already there. Do things that make you want to grow, to get better at.

My personal favourite part of music, is in the song writing. Yes the vocals are where I outwardly express myself, however putting those feelings I struggle to air in every day life on to a page with a pen and re reading them in my own head before I ever sing them, is where my inner rejuvenation is most effective. I feel like the weight of he world is lifted off my shoulders. Combining this with the vocal part of it is where my place is in music. It is both together that give me an edge. For me is about freedom of expression (sounds like a cliché I know), a way for me to let go of thoughts and emotions. Some people do this via art. Some by reading or writing poetry. Some via sports. Everyone has their release. Mine just happens to be writing lyrics and putting them in to action through song.

I hit bum notes. I forget my words. I sound off key. I get days where I feel the least musical in the world. However, I fight through those small “failures” and I’m glad I do because a lot of the time that’s where my progress is being made. Your mistakes and failures is where your strength of character is created. They are what keeps us humble, yet hungry.

Whatever it is you are passionate about, don’t ever give it up. Stay focused on your talent and believe that good days are on the other side of your inevitable bad days. They come hand in hand. We can’t be 100% all the time, we are human.

Fall down seven times, get up eight.

Alana Faith 🌼16106019_643105895876204_6626738694726745941_n

Keeping Faith In Yourself

**Blog from January 2017**16142357_640134052840055_8811168621939764286_n

I haven’t blogged in a while so I thought it was time to share a few thoughts 😊

As the band and I start putting provisions together for our debut gig, I’m looking back at this time last year when I honestly didn’t know where I should venture musically. I knew I needed something and somewhere for my own music but I didn’t know what. I was quite busy promoting my wedding business and working on that but as for my personal music I wasn’t so sure. I had so many doubts that I would ever have success with it. I even thought about closing down this page as I thought I was chasing a dream that wasn’t going to happen for me. It would have been easy for me to do that but it would have brought a lifetime of regrets.

I did not know last January, that I would meet my band in June. I didn’t know I’d be planning venues, songs, guest lists etc. I could have let health issues, personal life issues or doubts stop me from putting myself out there. No one would have blamed me as I had very good reason to.

Slick District are only beginning the start of a great musical future, whether that be gigging around our country or becoming millionaires (we wish lol) no one knows how far we’ll go but all I know is, we are going to enjoy the journey to wherever we end up. It’s the hard work we put in, in hope that we become something significant that drives us. It’s all about the music. Yes the goal is important, everyone sets goals and aims to meet them. However it’s the road that takes us there that is most important. That’s where the memories will be.

We can’t let our experiences in life, determine what we do with ourselves. We can’t let our dreams rest on the thought that it should be easy. Hobbies should be easy, it’s your time out to relax and enjoy yourself. Although there’s a big difference between a past time and a dream. A dream is something we cannot go a day without thinking about. They keep you up at night working on them. A dream is something that sets our souls on fire, something that defines us as people. It is passion set alight.

Who knows, maybe this time next year I will be blogging with much more amazing things I will proud of. The sky is the limit!!

Stay positive and work hard 😊

Alana Faith 🌺